Welcome!

Welcome to my new blog! I hope you will check back often for updates.

This will not be updated in any regular fashion, merely as something noteworthy has happened to me during that evening's shift, which, of course, happens more often than not.

The idea for this came from my Facebook where I will regularly change my status to some form of work rant, often prefaced with, "If You Love Your Front Desk Worker #whatever."

These are ones I have saved:

IYLYFDW: Don't tell them your life story about where you grew up and where you life now and how you hate your wife's choice of location. They don't want to have to act interested. They want to finish their co-worker's homework for money.

IYLYFDW #22: Believe them when they give you directions. There is knowledge to be gained from the fact they live here, and you don't.

IYLYFDW #26: Don't pick a fight at the wedding reception with the guy who is in the room next to you. I have nowhere for you to go!

IYLYFDW #13: PLEASE have your drunken 'I know he is cheating on me and he just doesn't love me and and I want someone who is all about me!' crying breakdown with your girlfriends somewhere other than my lobby. kthxbai. (She apparently slept in her brother's room because her new boyfriend was in her room in bed with her cousin.)

IYLYFDW #14: Don't leave a used tampon in the stairwell.

IYLYFDW #3: Don't swim naked in the pool/hot tub.

IYLYFDW #4: Don't sleep with your door open. It's creepy.

IYLYFDW #31: Don't get mad at us when we don't except your discount. The rules were in place before we were, and, for some reason, they didn't call us and ask us our opinion.

IYLYFDW #5: Don't pay for your rooms in ones.

IYLYFDW #35: Please remember it was not up to us on whether we have an exercise room. No matter how much you complain, we will not be able to get you one.

IYLYFDW #10: Don't blame us for mistakes that were made through your Expedia reservation. It's Expedia who made the mistake, not us. If you would like to complain, complain to them. We want to make you happy, but some things are just out of our control.

IYLYFDW #15: Don't come in trying to bum coffee, a smoke, or whatever when we both know you aren't staying here. And when we ask you to leave, don't hang around chatting for twenty minutes.

IYLYFDW #38: Don't leave your shoes in the hallway.

IYLYFDW #39: Don't tell your wife that the front desk girl knows nothing and that you should have just come in to do it yourself and have a big cursing arugment with me three feet behind you. Believe it or not, the room I placed you in is the best place for you.

IYLYFDW #40: Don't have a loud cell phone conversation in the hallway about your upcoming divorce and domestic dispute. I don't want to know and I'm sure the other guests don't either.

IYLYFDW #16: Don't lie and say you get some drastically low rate when you stay here. Trust me. I know you don't pay $45 in August because if you did, I would know who you are.

IYLYFDW #21: Don't tell them that joke about the pilot and the flight attendant. They've heard it. And if they haven't, they're okay with this. They can think of other things to do than how to quickly formulate a sentence about how witty you are. ("A lady is on a flight to Boston. The stewardess tells her that her seat is in coach. The lady goes to first class. "No, ma'am, your seat is in coach." The lady insists on going to first class. After a bit, the pilot is called to see about the disturbance. He takes stock of the situation, whispers in the lady's ear and the lady goes to sit in coach. "I've been arguing with her for 15 minutes! What did you tell her?" askes the attendant. "I told her first class isn't going to Boston," said the pilot." See? Not that funny.)


Random Others:

In a 14 hour shift, Bonnie watched 6 movies, made $5, drank 4 bottles of water (and received 4 slices on pumpkin bread), read 3 stories, had 2 Farmville harvests, and crocheted 1 full skein of yarn.

Bonnie is laughing. Today, Phil (a regular) comes in with a plate and goes, "Pumpkin bread!" I knew he was coming so I hand him a container and say, "Carrot cake!" Some things about my job are awesome.

Bonnie was right. Her night got worse. 14 cans of beer, 7 drunks guests, 4 in the morning, 2 naked butts and a partidge in a pear TREEEE.

Yippee, my two rooms are back. If they get in the pool after hours again, they are sleeping in their car.

Bonnie just got done spot cleaning the carpet after some man came through spitting and coughing phelgm on it.

Bonnie gets to chat with some the sweetest, chattiest old ladies ever.



Stay tuned for more Auditor Confessions.